My experiences during transition into the big bad corporate world!!!

After that promising preamble, and a delve into hibernation, I am back again. I had possibly picked out the worst time to start my blog as it was the middle of my sem exams and added to that there was the ongoing placement saga. So now that my part in it is over, let me just reflect upon it.
It was May the 23th 2008. When the next day dawned, TCS was going to pay a visit to my college for hiring people. I was still undecided whether to appear for it as I was inclined to wait for a production company like mindtree to come, because it was a rule in the college that once you get placed in a company, you cant sit for any other. And looking at the numbers that TCS takes, I didnt even consider not getting a job if I appear for it, as even a possibility. I took a call to actually sit for it (and of course get placed!!!) late into the evening, because I realized the job was not a priority for me because I aspire to do an MS after my undergrads and not work. So it was better to have a job under your belt for backup and move on to more important things. I went to college the next morning having shaved the previous night, having prepared my resume, dressed in formal clothes, ready to take on the interviewer once (note that I use "once" and not "if") I get through the "formality" of a first round called the aptitude test, in which about 1000 people out of the 1500 who appeared got through last year. And I was pretty upbeat about my chances of being in the top two thirds, especially in a test like an aptitude test (upbeat is an understatement; affirmative is a better word). And with that mindset, I entered into the computer labs (it was an online test) to get the formality over with. I was through with the verbal section and was waiting for the timer to countdown to 0 so that it would move automatically to the next quants section. I watched the timer countdown 5..4..3..2..1..0 and instead of moving on to the next section, the screen stayed the same except that the timer now started ticking into negatives (-1..-2..-3...). Half-startled, half-panicky, half-amused, half-exasperated, I called one of the people conducting the test and even he was baffled and directed me to another computer and asked me to login and resume from the next section, assuring me that the first section had been saved, which was logical as they had an autosave feature on every few seconds. I moved on and did the rest of the test quite well and was sure getting about 55 questions of the 72 right. I congratulated myself for getting through and was preparing my preamble when I appear for the interview as I clicked on the submit button and voila.....the next screen was a hammerblow. It read "Sorry...You have not qualified...Better luck next time". I read it and reread it and rereread it umpteen times to see if the message was coded and I had to decipher it but it read the same how many ever times I read it. Each time I read it, it seemed as if the sledgehammer was getting heavier. In a trance I walked out and met a few friends who refused to believe I had actually not got through and thought i was pulling their leg. With each passing moment, it was like being strung up by thumbs. And when I met a few friends who had made it, I felt a pang of disappointment rather than delight for them. And this made me feel more miserable that I was acting so immature. So with a heavy heart and a heavy bag too (had formal clothes, tie, resume, certificates etc) for the interview which was never going to come, I made my way back home. People suggest the computer mishap might ve been what went wrong, some say there were dummy questions for some sets, some say say there was an upper cutoff but those are just excuses. Bottomline was I was not among the top 550 in 1500 people in my college!!!
The next one week was a painful one, where each passing moment was not exactly gleeful (more because I could not measure up to the competition than because I was still unemployed) and it was further compounded by the barrage of sem exams (3 in 4 days). And then it was June 3rd at last, the day I would get the second bit at the cherry (or a bite in the second cherry) when Cognizant was to come next to college for placements. This time, I went with a more balanced frame of mind with the primary aim of getting through the aps before I thought about the interview. There was no difference in my "preparation" though (which was none at all actually as I feel aptitude tests are supposed to be an indication of how you actually are and that is determined by what you have learned all your life and not by how much last minute preps you put in by going through previous years' company papers etc which apparently keep getting repeated). I went with the frame of mind that the TCS disaster was a one off day where luck was not on my side and lightning does not strike twice. As they say, failure is the stepping stone to success but I just had to hope that only one stone was necessary. This aps was on good old paper and I did pretty well (as well as TCS, which was the hitch) and was upbeat about my chances once I submitted my paper. The results were announced in about an hour and fortunately I had got through. The next day, I went for the interview which only in the evening after a 6 hour long wait. It was a great experience and went on for a mammoth 30 mins. I felt I did as well as anyone could ve possibly done as the interviewer took the bait I deliberately laid out when I told her programming was my passion and so all my technical questions were directed towards programming which I manged to ace. After another 3 hour wait the results were read out in the auditorium at 8 pm and as each name was called out, it seemed like a final countdown. I was quite confident but still it was one of those times I was nervous because I was not nervous. When at last the auditorium resonated with my name, it seemed to linger in the air for eternity and seemed to echo from all directions and when I grasped it at last, it was a feeling of relief flooding through more than anything else. I couldn't have stood another failure as it would ve created self-doubt more than anything else. However the relief transformed into sorrow once again the names of many of friends who had done the interview well, were not called out. I had experienced what it felt to get rejected and it was one experience that I would not forget so easily. The auditorium was one of the most sombre places to be in when there are 300 depressingly sad faces among 550 people. It was embarrassing to sit there as one among the 236 employed people to witness the welcome speech as the others trudged out. I would ve given anything not to be present there. There was a mini-celebration of sorts with 235 delighted people throwing around a cake brought by our new employers but I just sat there in my seat with feelings of amusement of watching everyone get so excited and relief of getting through but happiness?...Not really as the disappointed faces swam before me. I felt like a dementor had kissed me. But then that is how life goes. Whoever you are and however you are, you need something which is not in your hands (popularly called "luck") to be on your side. So all I can do is to hope that there are not many stepping stones between success and failure for these people who re not placed as yet.
It was only as the next day dawned that I felt some happiness for myself. It was heightened by the fact that it was second time lucky for me. In life, when you succeed a task in which you ve experienced failure, it is indeed doubly delightful. But it is always better not to have an opportunity to experience double delight but keep experiencing single delight with success on the first attempt, as the period preceding the double delight is not the most delightful.